Protection

Their are one hundred and one synonyms for the word protect. Recently I’ve learned that whether you are: defending, securing, safekeeping, or ensuring… it is important that you are the number one PROTECTOR of your own happiness!

If you follow my blog,  you already know that the latter half of 2016 was super stressful for me- mentally, physically, and emotionally. I found myself going through one ordeal after another and constantly defending my beliefs to people whom I thought were on the same page as me. Ultimately I had to remove these people from my life. I had to get back to the basics and revisit the places and things that make me happiest. In doing so, I rediscovered apart of me that was lost. I found the light!

I’ve always known that there is a light inside of me. I’ve felt it burning and bubbling in the center of my chest since I was a little girl. People young and old around the world have seen it. Some have even been able to point it out/ put their finger on it, while others have done their best to snuff it out.

When you find that you are in a relationship (Friendship or Romantic), a job, or any kind of situation that is draining you or dimming your light, it’s okay to walk away in order to protect your happiness. As a matter of fact… don’t walk away- RUN!!! Think about it, if a flower doesn’t bloom you fix the environment in which it grows, not the flower.

So I stress that if you don’t remember anything else that I say, remember this… “While the light inside of us can lead us to great things, light also attracts moths, and the warmth of your light can attract parasites. PROTECT your ENERGY,  SAFEGARUD your LIGHT, and ENSURE your HAPPINESS!”

• Pic 1: Getting my “Happy” on at the beach
• Pic2: Words to live by
• Pic 3: I love the visual of leaving behind the old and embracing the new!

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BETTER

Listen. It takes a lot to impress me! I was born in the 80’s and raised in the 90’s by a strong, God fearing single mother, who worked hard to get a degree in nursing in her late twenties. This same woman saved up and moved her family from the hood to the suburbs. My mom held it down! Sometime she had to work two jobs, but she still managed to show up at every concert, pagent, and sporting event her children participated in. I know strength! I can recognize a fearless woman when I see one, and let me just tell you…. Chrisette Michele is all that and more!

I’m not even going to pretend like I wasn’t disappointed when I learned that she’d agreed to perform at Trumps Inagural ball. Chrisette being one of my favorite artist, I was mortified just thinking about how people (Black folks) would react to her decision.  It wasn’t long before the cat was out of the bag, and as expected the dragging begun.

I tried to stay away from “The Facebook” and “The Twitter.” I tried to read between the lines, and understand Chrisette’s motivation. See as a real Chrisette Michele fan, I know that “Sistuh girl” just wrapped a show in which she toured the country over the past six months. Chrisette literally ended one tour only to embark on a second one promoting her own album; which is on her own label! I say that only to say that money could not have been her only motivator!!!

I repeat “MONEY COULD NOT HAVE BEEN HER ONLY MOTIVATOR.” Not when Twitter exploded! Not when thousands of people threatened to boycott, unfollow, and never support her art again.

Thousands of people flooded Chrisette’s Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and business page with hateful messages that ultimately broke my heart. Seeing the storm that this woman was riding shook me to my core. I mean when you love somebody, you never really stop loving them; and I love Chrisette! I love her so much that I had her debut album “I Am”, playing in the delivery room as I gave birth to my first child.

I’m connected with Chrisette, and I’m real with myself! I know that once my mind is made up, there is nothing anyone can say or do to change it. I know that when I am passionate about something, I’ll fight tooth and nail for it! So who am I to judge, look down on, or berate Chrisette Michele simply because she made a decision that I don’t agree with?

I realize that for many of us things got real when Trump was elected to the White House. I know that we are both afraid of, and ready for whatever may come our way with this new administration. However… it is fact that the world will continue to turn until sweet Jesus decides to return for us! Until then, we have got to do a BETTER  job of sticking together and taking care of one another.

We have got to do BETTER!

We laugh and make jokes out of everything when everything ain’t funny! We allow ourselves to be divided, when we should be coming together. We stay shaming folks on social media, all the while leaving undeniable proof that many of us are still but crabs in a bucket!

WE HAVE GOT TO DO BETTER!!!

We build people up, only to tear them down the moment they go against the grain. Sadly, we keep giving life to aweful words like Coon and Jigaboo; these words should have died a long time ago.

Let’s just be real for a moment… internet bullying does not qualify as activism! In the age of social media we are “shucking and jiving” with our Twitter fingers and quick wit. All while sitting behind computer desks or standing in line at Starbucks.

We  are making ourselves look bad, and we have got to do BETTER!

I am by no means a Trump supporter! At this very moment, I am still uncertain as to why Chrisette decided to perform. But what I do know is that Chrisette Michele is a grown woman who can do as she pleases!

Furthermore, I find it ironic that we have been dragging Chrisette all across the internet for days now, yet no one is talking about Floyd Mayweather who sat front and center at Trumps Inauguration! He wasn’t there to box. He wasn’t serving as anybody’s security that night! What he was doing was showing unashamed support for Trump! This man is who y’all should be talking about.

How much money do you spend on fight night? Mayweather makes millions in one night off of Pay-Per-View, and packed arenas! How are we going to walk right past him and give Chrisette the pink slip? If you ask me… it’s sexist! Chrisette got the short end of the stick because well… she’s a she! Every question we ask Chrisette, we should be asking Floyd.  Just because “Sistuh girl” sometimes rocks a fro doesn’t mean that she’s any blacker or more accountable to the community than Floyd “Money” Mayweather!

Anyway, It’s time to move on. I am not going to let Donald Trump stop me from living my life! I  am going to continue to show up in my community.  I will continue to speak out against injustice and advocate for men, women, and children of all races, religions, and sexual orientations. What I will no longer do is participate in tearing down a person.

I am BETTER than that.

We are BETTER than that!

As far as I am concerned, Chrisette Michele has guts! She made a decision for whatever reason and did not backdown when it seemed the world was against her. If she has no more fans, she has me. I will always be in awe of the strength and courage she displayed during this time.

With that said, I already know that some of y’all will get with this, while some of y’all won’t! I’m fine with that. You can say what you like; I’m Brenda’s daughter and while I might bend… I won’t break! I get that from my mama🙌🏾.

GIVE IT UP, TURN IT LOOSE

So you made it to 2017! What now?

Have you set goals or come up with a variety of New Year resolutions that you have no intention of seeing through? Don’t get me wrong… I love ringing in the New Year. I feel its magic and I relish in all of the hope and possibilities that come along with it. However, I’ve never agreed with the concept of waiting to change your life.

If there is one thing that I am certain of, it’s that life comes at you fast and hard, and that no one is promised tomorrow. Therefore I say that the very moment that you are inspired to do better or to be better… you should act! Don’t follow the crowd and start your new health and fitness routine with the rest of the world. If you do, you’ll be more inclined to give up on your goals, when the rest of the world abandons theirs in February.  Don’t wait until the clock strikes midnight to let the love of your life know just how much they mean to you. Do it today, and everyday! If you’ve felt convicted about cussing, drinking, or being argumentative, quit hanging on to those bad habits. Break those chains the moment you feel compelled to do so!

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Life is to be lived! Through many trials and tribulations, I’ve learned that I’ve got to do what feels good to my soul ❤

Make 2017 about you! Live authentically and be true to yourself. If you are still unsure of who you are, now is the time to explore. Develop your gifts by investing in something that you love and move at your own pace.

As we settle into the New Year, keep in mind that if you don’t like something about your life, you and only you can change it. So don’t hesitate and don’t delay. As one of my favorite groups En Vogue A.K.A. the Funky Divas once sang…  “Give it up, Turn it Loose”.

AS I LAY DYING

I’m wired a bit differently than most people. This isn’t a new discovery for me, or something surprising that I found out after a lot of self-examination. I’ve always known that I was different. I feel too much; I care way too much! Therefore I’ve learned that when things happen in life-how I respond not only directly reflects the strength of my character, but can determine the course of my life for months, if not years to come.

The 2016 presidential election wreaked havoc on my mental and spiritual well-being. Donald Trump being elected the 45th President of the United States sent me spiraling into a state of turmoil. I was so worked up that I got physically sick.

So much happened in the days after the election that further complicated things for me. I lost old friends, made new ones, pissed off coworkers, abandoned social media, became the topic of rumor and speculation, and had an all out B*tch Fit!

It often felt as though  I was having a outter body experience; like I was watching the events of my life unfold on a movie screen, or through someone else’s eyes. I’ve always been the likable girl! The one that you wanted on your team. Being disliked or unpopular was literally foreign to me. Until November 8, 2016…

Before I continue it’s important that you understand that I literally am EVERY WOMAN!!!! I’m from a small town that was predominantly white. I’m an HBCU graduate (HAMPTON UNIVERSITY STAND UP!!!), a member of a BGLO, a former Labor Union Organizer who worked hands on with immigrants. An accomplished Actress who has toured the country performing, and most recently a teacher, counselor, resource officer and a mother. I’m not telling you these things to toot my own horn… I simply want you to understand that I’ve lived a number of lives and been influenced by a number of people.

I know that people regardless of their race, religion, or sexual orientation, all have one thing in common… THEY WANT TO BE HAPPY! For the life of me, I CANNOT understand why anyone would have a problem with this. It further amazes me that these are the issues that have divided America: a country that was built on the pursuit of happiness.

I realized early on why I took Trumps victory so hard. As a lover and a feeler, Donald Trump’s win felt like a slap in the face. It was a direct assault on everything that I believe in and stand for. Thus my first reaction, like many throughout the country was to lash out.

Now before my friends on the other side start yelling or complaining as they have been doing for nearly two weeks now ( they’ve been coming at me via: phone, text, direct message, and the postal service), I realize that there is more at stake. I know that we are at war with extremist, and that the bible speaks against homosexuality and abortion. I get it! But the BIBLE also tells us not to judge, and to love our neighbors. It burns me up that people think they have the right to pick and chose what part of the GOOD BOOK they are going to acknowledge and stand behind.

Ok, my rant is over… let’s get back on track. Through all of the chaos, I had an epiphany! Here I was pointing out the problems with our newly elected President,  and receiving backlash from some pretty surprising places. Without rehashing the whole situation, let’s just say that the RIGHT almost broke me!!! For the first time in my life I  was crying out in rage, I used the word hate (and meant it), and I was plotting revenge.

I knew that I had to GET IT TOGETHER! My break through came as I realized that it is OKAY to NOT BE OKAY. Growing up, I was always taught to be kind. Additionally, I have a habit of putting the wants and needs of others before my own, and I could never stand the idea of someone truly not liking me. Therefore, I’d fight to find common ground with everyone that I met. Subsequently I’d built a number of superficial relationships with people whom I needed to cut ties with.

Many of these people confronted me and accused me of trying to fight other people battles. In my mind I’m asking, “Do they see me at all? I’m a Black Woman for Gods sake!” These same people accused me of being to sensitive. My reply was, “Maybe you’re just too numb.” It was suddenly so clear to me what needed to be done. I realized that now is the time to pick sides and I refuse to stand idly by when so much is at stake. If that makes me unpopular, than so be it!

The last two weeks have taught me that I am STRONGER than I ever imagined! As the old me who sought to please the world lays DYING… a NEW and IMPROVED me is waiting to be born. The new me will not allow my past relationships to make me bitter. Instead, I will use them to make me better! The new me realizes that you are the people you surround yourself with. Therefore, she will move forward in love, but chose her friends wisely.

In closing, I say to anyone reading this, whether you are on the left or the right; in the days to come, we will all be tested. Do not let anyone’s ignorance, hate, drama, or negativity stop you from being the best person that you can be. Rise above it all, even if it means that you have to walk alone ❤