That’s Life!

In order to make it in today’s world, you’ve got to have a healthy dose of grit and determination. You’ve got to know what you want, and have a plan to go out and get it!

You see… life is truly a game of “Win, Lose, or Draw”.

In truth, most of us will spend a great deal of time playing “Guess Who”, as we try and navigate a path to true friendships and love. Some will spend their lives playing “Charades”, guessing the motives of others.

Often times winning the game of life seems impossible! Especially when you’ve taken two steps forward, only to be dealt a card that pushes you three steps backwards. It’s during the times when we are the most vulnerable that we must decide whether to fold or keep going.  Therefore it’s important to remember these three things:

1). There is always going to be someone or something that tries to “Monopolize” your time and energy. Therefore its important to balance life and work! If someone or something is taking up all your time, know when to walk away. Starting over isn’t always a bad thing. Sometimes starting over allows us to learn from the mistakes of our past, and avoid them in the future.

2). Trust your intuition! It’s your “Clue” to what’s right and wrong in your life. You don’t need to explain your feelings to others – and there is never a need to justify them to anyone. Simply put… your inner guidance knows best.

3). Say I’m “Sorry”. It’s been said that the EGO is the soul’s worst enemy. It keeps us from saying the things we really need to say. We foolishly allow our EGO’s to get in the way of personal growth and development, because we believe that apologizing means admitting that we are wrong, or that the other person is right. Make no mistakes about it… in times of “Trouble” don’t be too stubborn to forgive, or too proud to apologize.

Life is a game.

REFUSE TO LOSE.

 

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HEATHER HEYER

How can I be enraged and numb at the same time?
How can I be alive but not living in this day and time?
Horrific HATE is knocking at my door, I’m suddenly looking at my neighbors -unsure of how they feel; do they have it in them… could they kill?
How much more blood will be spilled? Will this country ever heal?
My mom says “PRAY”, my mind says “SLAY”, my heart chants “THERE HAS GOT TO BE A BETTER WAY!”
Horrific Hate cannot win. Horrific hate WILL NOT RULE THIS DAY! While hate took HEATHER and so many like her; their lives WILL NOT HAVE BEEN IN VAIN. We will work through this pain. We will progress in their names!

 

Protection

Their are one hundred and one synonyms for the word protect. Recently I’ve learned that whether you are: defending, securing, safekeeping, or ensuring… it is important that you are the number one PROTECTOR of your own happiness!

If you follow my blog,  you already know that the latter half of 2016 was super stressful for me- mentally, physically, and emotionally. I found myself going through one ordeal after another and constantly defending my beliefs to people whom I thought were on the same page as me. Ultimately I had to remove these people from my life. I had to get back to the basics and revisit the places and things that make me happiest. In doing so, I rediscovered apart of me that was lost. I found the light!

I’ve always known that there is a light inside of me. I’ve felt it burning and bubbling in the center of my chest since I was a little girl. People young and old around the world have seen it. Some have even been able to point it out/ put their finger on it, while others have done their best to snuff it out.

When you find that you are in a relationship (Friendship or Romantic), a job, or any kind of situation that is draining you or dimming your light, it’s okay to walk away in order to protect your happiness. As a matter of fact… don’t walk away- RUN!!! Think about it, if a flower doesn’t bloom you fix the environment in which it grows, not the flower.

So I stress that if you don’t remember anything else that I say, remember this… “While the light inside of us can lead us to great things, light also attracts moths, and the warmth of your light can attract parasites. PROTECT your ENERGY,  SAFEGARUD your LIGHT, and ENSURE your HAPPINESS!”

  • Pic 1: Getting my “Happy” on at the beach
  • Pic2: Words to live by
  • Pic 3: I love the visual of leaving behind the old and embracing the new!

 

Winners & Warriors

You insist on running around town looking and acting like a clown.

Big head in the clouds, tiny toes tipping across the ground

Making a lot of noise, doing any and everything  you can to attract the boys.

You’re too grown for this, so miss me with this.

I refuse to pull up a seat and watch as you self destruct.

Like a mirror, I can’t lie;

I won’t stick around and be your alibi.

I can’t have friends with no couth .

I run with winners and warriors; women who fight for their families and homes. Women who recognize that they are fully grown.

We are daughters  of the sun who don’t give up until the race is won.

We don’t self destruct.

We don’t give in. We don’t care whether or not we fit in-  we were born to stand out!

We are both Winner and Warrior and without a doubt…

We don’t self destruct!

GIVE IT UP, TURN IT LOOSE

So you made it to 2017! What now?

Have you set goals or come up with a variety of New Year resolutions that you have no intention of seeing through? Don’t get me wrong… I love ringing in the New Year. I feel its magic and I relish in all of the hope and possibilities that come along with it. However, I’ve never agreed with the concept of waiting to change your life.

If there is one thing that I am certain of, it’s that life comes at you fast and hard, and that no one is promised tomorrow. Therefore I say that the very moment that you are inspired to do better or to be better… you should act! Don’t follow the crowd and start your new health and fitness routine with the rest of the world. If you do, you’ll be more inclined to give up on your goals, when the rest of the world abandons theirs in February.  Don’t wait until the clock strikes midnight to let the love of your life know just how much they mean to you. Do it today, and everyday! If you’ve felt convicted about cussing, drinking, or being argumentative, quit hanging on to those bad habits. Break those chains the moment you feel compelled to do so!

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Life is to be lived! Through many trials and tribulations, I’ve learned that I’ve got to do what feels good to my soul ❤

Make 2017 about you! Live authentically and be true to yourself. If you are still unsure of who you are, now is the time to explore. Develop your gifts by investing in something that you love and move at your own pace.

As we settle into the New Year, keep in mind that if you don’t like something about your life, you and only you can change it. So don’t hesitate and don’t delay. As one of my favorite groups En Vogue A.K.A. the Funky Divas once sang…  “Give it up, Turn it Loose”.

Give It Away Now!

Last week I wrote a little about my rock bottom. I talked about my husband becoming ill and all of the life changing events that took place during that time. I shared with you how putting things into prospective and realizing just how blessed my family truly is, helped me to live an abundant life.

This week I’d like to CHALLENGE you to help make a difference! You see all of us who are caught up in this thing we call Social Media, are familiar with the never-ending circle of challenges that go around. We’ve been “So Gone”, “mannequins”,  poured “Ice buckets” over our heads, and a bunch of other things.  As the Season of giving is upon us, let’s take a different approach! Over the next 21 days, I challenge you to uplift someone else ❤

Right now you’re probably starting to panic. You’re thinking of the million and one other obligations that you have, and looking at that budget like, “How can I fit something else in”. You can-TRUST ME! See I want you to know what I learned several years ago. I am by no stretch of the imagination monetarily RICH, but I am RICH in MIND, BODY, and SOUL.  Thus I encourage you to spend the next 21 days focusing on what you have to give instead of what you don’t.

Say these words with me, “There is always enough love and kindness to go around.” If you are ever in doubt, or questioning the impact that you have on the world, speak those words; release them into the atmosphere, press on, and watch how the circle of love you create widens.

No act of kindness is too big or too small! Not sure how to begin? Here are a few suggestions:

  • Gather all of the old cellphones you have lying around the house. Encourage your friends and family to do the same. You can then donate them to The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence. They will resell them to fund outreach programs.
  • Donate new or gently used socks (Yes SOCKS!)  to a local shelter. Socks are the most needed, yet least donated items in shelters.
  • Put on your running shoes and headphones,  and grab a trash bag or two! Spend an hour or more picking up trash or raking a neighbor’s yard.
  • Everyone loves Random Acts of Kindness. Pay for a strangers Coffee or give that Coworker who always has your back a pack of Lifesavers  ❤
  • Give Blood if you can! This one is near and dear to my heart as I have Aplastic Anemia. I’ve had to rely on the kindness of strangers many times in my life.
  • Organize a can food drive within your church, social circle, or workplace.
  • Volunteer at a Soup Kitchen
  • Check on an aging or disabled person in your life. See if they need a ride to the supermarket, or simply some companionship.
  • Donate Cat and Dog food to a local animal shelter.
  • Round up any clothes, shoes, or accessories you no longer wear. Donate them to the Salvation Army, Goodwill, or Charity House
  • If nothing else…. BE KIND. Never underestimate the power of a smile, Kind word, or sweet Gesture. Simply making eye contact with a stranger or holding the door open for someone could change their outlook on the entire day. So throw KINDNESS around like Confetti!!!

Additionally, if you aren’t keeping a gratitude journal… now is the time to start! As you are giving of yourself, you will quickly see how blessed you truly are. You’ll be able to point out every little thing in your life that comes together and makes you whole.

Winston Churchill once said: “We make a living by what we get. We make a life by what we give.” I say, “Giving enriches both our own lives, and the lives of others.”  So please join me in trying to change the world, one small act of kindness at a time ❤

I stayed busy last week! I was blessed to be able to spend time volunteering at my boys school where I lead an amazing night of Physical Fitness, games, and fun. At work, I assisted in organizing our “Toys for Tots” campaign. While at home, my family prepared bags for the homesless. I’m so grateful that I am able to be a blessing to others ❤

 

AS I LAY DYING

I’m wired a bit differently than most people. This isn’t a new discovery for me, or something surprising that I found out after a lot of self-examination. I’ve always known that I was different. I feel too much; I care way too much! Therefore I’ve learned that when things happen in life-how I respond not only directly reflects the strength of my character, but can determine the course of my life for months, if not years to come.

The 2016 presidential election wreaked havoc on my mental and spiritual well-being. Donald Trump being elected the 45th President of the United States sent me spiraling into a state of turmoil. I was so worked up that I got physically sick.

So much happened in the days after the election that further complicated things for me. I lost old friends, made new ones, pissed off coworkers, abandoned social media, became the topic of rumor and speculation, and had an all out B*tch Fit!

It often felt as though  I was having a outter body experience; like I was watching the events of my life unfold on a movie screen, or through someone else’s eyes. I’ve always been the likable girl! The one that you wanted on your team. Being disliked or unpopular was literally foreign to me. Until November 8, 2016…

Before I continue it’s important that you understand that I literally am EVERY WOMAN!!!! I’m from a small town that was predominantly white. I’m an HBCU graduate (HAMPTON UNIVERSITY STAND UP!!!), a member of a BGLO, a former Labor Union Organizer who worked hands on with immigrants. An accomplished Actress who has toured the country performing, and most recently a teacher, counselor, resource officer and a mother. I’m not telling you these things to toot my own horn… I simply want you to understand that I’ve lived a number of lives and been influenced by a number of people.

I know that people regardless of their race, religion, or sexual orientation, all have one thing in common… THEY WANT TO BE HAPPY! For the life of me, I CANNOT understand why anyone would have a problem with this. It further amazes me that these are the issues that have divided America: a country that was built on the pursuit of happiness.

I realized early on why I took Trumps victory so hard. As a lover and a feeler, Donald Trump’s win felt like a slap in the face. It was a direct assault on everything that I believe in and stand for. Thus my first reaction, like many throughout the country was to lash out.

Now before my friends on the other side start yelling or complaining as they have been doing for nearly two weeks now ( they’ve been coming at me via: phone, text, direct message, and the postal service), I realize that there is more at stake. I know that we are at war with extremist, and that the bible speaks against homosexuality and abortion. I get it! But the BIBLE also tells us not to judge, and to love our neighbors. It burns me up that people think they have the right to pick and chose what part of the GOOD BOOK they are going to acknowledge and stand behind.

Ok, my rant is over… let’s get back on track. Through all of the chaos, I had an epiphany! Here I was pointing out the problems with our newly elected President,  and receiving backlash from some pretty surprising places. Without rehashing the whole situation, let’s just say that the RIGHT almost broke me!!! For the first time in my life I  was crying out in rage, I used the word hate (and meant it), and I was plotting revenge.

I knew that I had to GET IT TOGETHER! My break through came as I realized that it is OKAY to NOT BE OKAY. Growing up, I was always taught to be kind. Additionally, I have a habit of putting the wants and needs of others before my own, and I could never stand the idea of someone truly not liking me. Therefore, I’d fight to find common ground with everyone that I met. Subsequently I’d built a number of superficial relationships with people whom I needed to cut ties with.

Many of these people confronted me and accused me of trying to fight other people battles. In my mind I’m asking, “Do they see me at all? I’m a Black Woman for Gods sake!” These same people accused me of being to sensitive. My reply was, “Maybe you’re just too numb.” It was suddenly so clear to me what needed to be done. I realized that now is the time to pick sides and I refuse to stand idly by when so much is at stake. If that makes me unpopular, than so be it!

The last two weeks have taught me that I am STRONGER than I ever imagined! As the old me who sought to please the world lays DYING… a NEW and IMPROVED me is waiting to be born. The new me will not allow my past relationships to make me bitter. Instead, I will use them to make me better! The new me realizes that you are the people you surround yourself with. Therefore, she will move forward in love, but chose her friends wisely.

In closing, I say to anyone reading this, whether you are on the left or the right; in the days to come, we will all be tested. Do not let anyone’s ignorance, hate, drama, or negativity stop you from being the best person that you can be. Rise above it all, even if it means that you have to walk alone ❤