HEATHER HEYER

How can I be enraged and numb at the same time?
How can I be alive but not living in this day and time?
Horrific HATE is knocking at my door, I’m suddenly looking at my neighbors -unsure of how they feel; do they have it in them… could they kill?
How much more blood will be spilled? Will this country ever heal?
My mom says “PRAY”, my mind says “SLAY”, my heart chants “THERE HAS GOT TO BE A BETTER WAY!”
Horrific Hate cannot win. Horrific hate WILL NOT RULE THIS DAY! While hate took HEATHER and so many like her; their lives WILL NOT HAVE BEEN IN VAIN. We will work through this pain. We will progress in their names!

 

Why you gotta be so RUDE?!?!

I stood in shock as I watched a full grown woman (whom was simply trying to lend a helping hand) being ripped a new one in front of a group of strangers! I was frozen. I didn’t know how to respond. Do I walk away and act like I didn’t hear or see anything? Should I defend her ( I mean really… she was only trying to help)? What are the other people in this room thinking? How are they feeling?

I am so frustrated by the lack of consideration that we as a people have for one another. I understand that there are times in which we find ourselves in high stressed situations that test our patients. However…  everyday, and in every situation, we have a choice between being self-absorbed jerks, or rational human beings. There are no exceptions!!! Bottom line: IT IS NOT OKAY TO BE AN A**HOLE!!! It is also not okay to witness Jerkism and not shut it down. Me being me, I had to say something. I had to in a COURTEOUS but CURT way, make sure that the tactless woman who walked into a room of strangers and spit venom knew that she was out of order! However,  I’m guessing that by this time “Evillene” had realized that she’d gone too far with her words. As she was left explaining her reasoning to my back.  After I spoke my peace, I gave my helpful friend a solidarity wink and walked out as cool as a cucumber.  I have no time for rude people!

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MONDAY LOVE ❤️

Hi Friends! It’s Monday and that means that it’s time to get back to the hustle and bustle of the work week.

While many people will argue that Monday’s should be optional, I’m here to remind you that Monday’s are very necessary! Every Monday morning you have one of two options… (1) step forward into growth,  or (2) step backwards into safety. You lived through last week, you survived it! Choose to move forward and create something beautiful.

SEIZE THE DAY!!!!

 

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What About Your Friends

I’ve been thinking a lot about friendships and how fragile and complicated some of these relationships can be. Friends play a vital role in making us who we are as individuals; true friends boost our self-confidence, are our partners in crime, our shoulder to cry on, and our comfort zones. In some instances, we are closer to our friends than we are to our siblings. That’s why it’s important that anyone in your life that you have given the “Friendship/Bestie” title, is able to – for lack of a better word… CHECK you!

Seriously… friends have the unique ability to pick up on the things happening around us and in true “Captain Save a Hoe” fashion, predict the negative outcomes of situations. It is then up to us to heed the advice of the people we trust to tell us the harsh truths and keep us grounded. In short… we choose whether or not to be saved!

Thankfully, I have been blessed with an amazing and diverse group of friends whom respect and value my opinion just as much as I do theirs. However… I realize that not everyone is as fortunate as I am. So what is one to do when you have a friend who is just stuck on stupid!?!? Do you continue to offer advise? Do you allow them to self destruct? Do you stick around to pick up the pieces after they fall apart, or do you give into your frustrations and walk away?

Here comes the blessing in today’s lesson…

It doesn’t matter how wonderful of a person you are, or how good a friend you are. You cannot save a person who doesn’t want to be saved. People have to want to change. They have to want better… and do better! Until our friends have reached a turning point in which they are open to receiving love and direction; your intentions, no matter how noble they may be, will be misinterpreted.

While I believe that holding on and hanging in there are signs of strength and integrity,  it is just as important that you know when to let go!  Remember this… “Sometimes people have to fall apart to realize that they need to fall back together.”

 

images2EBR4ZYJIMG_33281IMG_33411 This picture sums up over 30 yrs. of friendship! All the ladies pictured above make up the pieces of me. we’ve laughed, cried, loved, hated, and held on for years and years. I love my tribe to the moon and back <3.

 

Protection

Their are one hundred and one synonyms for the word protect. Recently I’ve learned that whether you are: defending, securing, safekeeping, or ensuring… it is important that you are the number one PROTECTOR of your own happiness!

If you follow my blog,  you already know that the latter half of 2016 was super stressful for me- mentally, physically, and emotionally. I found myself going through one ordeal after another and constantly defending my beliefs to people whom I thought were on the same page as me. Ultimately I had to remove these people from my life. I had to get back to the basics and revisit the places and things that make me happiest. In doing so, I rediscovered apart of me that was lost. I found the light!

I’ve always known that there is a light inside of me. I’ve felt it burning and bubbling in the center of my chest since I was a little girl. People young and old around the world have seen it. Some have even been able to point it out/ put their finger on it, while others have done their best to snuff it out.

When you find that you are in a relationship (Friendship or Romantic), a job, or any kind of situation that is draining you or dimming your light, it’s okay to walk away in order to protect your happiness. As a matter of fact… don’t walk away- RUN!!! Think about it, if a flower doesn’t bloom you fix the environment in which it grows, not the flower.

So I stress that if you don’t remember anything else that I say, remember this… “While the light inside of us can lead us to great things, light also attracts moths, and the warmth of your light can attract parasites. PROTECT your ENERGY,  SAFEGARUD your LIGHT, and ENSURE your HAPPINESS!”

  • Pic 1: Getting my “Happy” on at the beach
  • Pic2: Words to live by
  • Pic 3: I love the visual of leaving behind the old and embracing the new!

 

Winners & Warriors

You insist on running around town looking and acting like a clown.

Big head in the clouds, tiny toes tipping across the ground

Making a lot of noise, doing any and everything  you can to attract the boys.

You’re too grown for this, so miss me with this.

I refuse to pull up a seat and watch as you self destruct.

Like a mirror, I can’t lie;

I won’t stick around and be your alibi.

I can’t have friends with no couth .

I run with winners and warriors; women who fight for their families and homes. Women who recognize that they are fully grown.

We are daughters  of the sun who don’t give up until the race is won.

We don’t self destruct.

We don’t give in. We don’t care whether or not we fit in-  we were born to stand out!

We are both Winner and Warrior and without a doubt…

We don’t self destruct!

BETTER

Listen. It takes a lot to impress me! I was born in the 80’s and raised in the 90’s by a strong, God fearing single mother, who worked hard to get a degree in nursing in her late twenties. This same woman saved up and moved her family from the hood to the suburbs. My mom held it down! Sometime she had to work two jobs, but she still managed to show up at every concert, pagent, and sporting event her children participated in. I know strength! I can recognize a fearless woman when I see one, and let me just tell you…. Chrisette Michele is all that and more!

I’m not even going to pretend like I wasn’t disappointed when I learned that she’d agreed to perform at Trumps Inagural ball. Chrisette being one of my favorite artist, I was mortified just thinking about how people (Black folks) would react to her decision.  It wasn’t long before the cat was out of the bag, and as expected the dragging begun.

I tried to stay away from “The Facebook” and “The Twitter.” I tried to read between the lines, and understand Chrisette’s motivation. See as a real Chrisette Michele fan, I know that “Sistuh girl” just wrapped a show in which she toured the country over the past six months. Chrisette literally ended one tour only to embark on a second one promoting her own album; which is on her own label! I say that only to say that money could not have been her only motivator!!!

I repeat “MONEY COULD NOT HAVE BEEN HER ONLY MOTIVATOR.” Not when Twitter exploded! Not when thousands of people threatened to boycott, unfollow, and never support her art again.

Thousands of people flooded Chrisette’s Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and business page with hateful messages that ultimately broke my heart. Seeing the storm that this woman was riding shook me to my core. I mean when you love somebody, you never really stop loving them; and I love Chrisette! I love her so much that I had her debut album “I Am”, playing in the delivery room as I gave birth to my first child.

I’m connected with Chrisette, and I’m real with myself! I know that once my mind is made up, there is nothing anyone can say or do to change it. I know that when I am passionate about something, I’ll fight tooth and nail for it! So who am I to judge, look down on, or berate Chrisette Michele simply because she made a decision that I don’t agree with?

I realize that for many of us things got real when Trump was elected to the White House. I know that we are both afraid of, and ready for whatever may come our way with this new administration. However… it is fact that the world will continue to turn until sweet Jesus decides to return for us! Until then, we have got to do a BETTER  job of sticking together and taking care of one another.

We have got to do BETTER!

We laugh and make jokes out of everything when everything ain’t funny! We allow ourselves to be divided, when we should be coming together. We stay shaming folks on social media, all the while leaving undeniable proof that many of us are still but crabs in a bucket!

WE HAVE GOT TO DO BETTER!!!

We build people up, only to tear them down the moment they go against the grain. Sadly, we keep giving life to aweful words like Coon and Jigaboo; these words should have died a long time ago.

Let’s just be real for a moment… internet bullying does not qualify as activism! In the age of social media we are “shucking and jiving” with our Twitter fingers and quick wit. All while sitting behind computer desks or standing in line at Starbucks.

We  are making ourselves look bad, and we have got to do BETTER!

I am by no means a Trump supporter! At this very moment, I am still uncertain as to why Chrisette decided to perform. But what I do know is that Chrisette Michele is a grown woman who can do as she pleases!

Furthermore, I find it ironic that we have been dragging Chrisette all across the internet for days now, yet no one is talking about Floyd Mayweather who sat front and center at Trumps Inauguration! He wasn’t there to box. He wasn’t serving as anybody’s security that night! What he was doing was showing unashamed support for Trump! This man is who y’all should be talking about.

How much money do you spend on fight night? Mayweather makes millions in one night off of Pay-Per-View, and packed arenas! How are we going to walk right past him and give Chrisette the pink slip? If you ask me… it’s sexist! Chrisette got the short end of the stick because well… she’s a she! Every question we ask Chrisette, we should be asking Floyd.  Just because “Sistuh girl” sometimes rocks a fro doesn’t mean that she’s any blacker or more accountable to the community than Floyd “Money” Mayweather!

Anyway, It’s time to move on. I am not going to let Donald Trump stop me from living my life! I  am going to continue to show up in my community.  I will continue to speak out against injustice and advocate for men, women, and children of all races, religions, and sexual orientations. What I will no longer do is participate in tearing down a person.

I am BETTER than that.

We are BETTER than that!

As far as I am concerned, Chrisette Michele has guts! She made a decision for whatever reason and did not backdown when it seemed the world was against her. If she has no more fans, she has me. I will always be in awe of the strength and courage she displayed during this time.

With that said, I already know that some of y’all will get with this, while some of y’all won’t! I’m fine with that. You can say what you like; I’m Brenda’s daughter and while I might bend… I won’t break! I get that from my mama🙌🏾.